It's so grey outside

And I'm afraid to get out of bed
Mom called today, she's been released
again, just kicked out of doors
not sure where she's supposed to go
how'd she get out
was it a mistake, is this going to be
more trouble
my aunt
suggested

me the guardian of my mother
how horrible a thought
at least this soon, this early
I am barely above ground
sinking and pulling up
short of what I need and what I want
anyway.
It's so grey outside

and I don't want to leave my house
and sit with those fucking people
and learn about numbers
and how we can manipulate them
to make what we want from
them
I want to sit here
and listen to the music that you all
make so much fun
beautiful grey November music
without words
because they just get in the way