10.03.2024

as ever

i fill the quiet
other's words crowding out
on my own
under a shared roof
hungover and its not quite
regret
the error loops wearing their grooves
deeper into me

I've sunk as far
away from the light 
sometimes seeing better
in these shadows 
artificial contrasts
no longer distracted and 
this is where the work happens

too often asking
to what end
glitching through life
knowing truth 
and denying 
the choices I make 
a denial of the inner
thoughts I can't share with
anyone

Except. 

these empty pages
a living will 
against my own I continue
the hardest way forward 

stop
and cut that desire path
right angles and
efficient
boy, time is running out

you're the same as in the memories
all of this is you
has been you
will be you
what do you do with it

what's left
interrogate the declaration 
there's no need for 
punctuation 

life has never fit so neatly
into any form
a constant micro
ebb and flow
even when the pieces of the whole 
cease
how many countless other pieces
oscillating forever

parkinsonian tremolo
echoing across years
amplitude and frequency
tinnitus or static from sources
elsewhere 
doesn't matter
the story is the same
only difference is

what perspective does
this distance from 
what came before
that was me
there, then

as is this, now
 





3.27.2024

the 101

life is a minor chord of forgotten memories
on another highway
to where, i’m not sure

though the hills, green & rolling
and familiar in a passing way
these are not the same

heavy low, grey
ocean clouds
hanging about 
my head in these clouds

&
this endless stream
bodies hurtling through space
trapped in boxes
metal or otherwise

where are we going

vanishing point 
of some horizon
in a shrouded distance
is that even the horizon

where does earth end and sky begin
where do i end and you begin

white geometries 
embedded in organic memories
mysteries seen but never solved

unsure where this will all end
although
we all know
exactly
where this all ends

but that’s not for now
for now
is
another ribbon
black asphalt 
hope

&
hopefully 
at the end
a new memory

&
hopefully 
at the end
not forgotten

like so much else

maybe.