i am trembling

at the though of it
either/or

maybe I should wait and see

until a hundred more 

sleep on it 

this life is daydreaming

fugue of in between and 

torn in two

halves of the same million 

pieces making all of us 

something more than meeting the 

eyes, impossible to read

though utterly beautiful

i have no truth 

aside from the heart

a clarifying ache impossible 

to reconcile

how to walk away

intact

an emotional amputee

looking for some quiet safe place

somewhere I have felt peace

what kind lasts?

more than those minutes 

moving from one memory to the next

stepping stones chosen 

my feet are my own

whatever choice arises must be

making a path of my own design

has never been a strength

in only surviving 

life as it passes by

chance playing its role

and recognizing my own

i am trembling.