itself

it still hurts
so many times
each time i disappoint 
you don’t need to learn

there’s no 
right or wrong matters

so much less

peace seeks one thing, only
let it be

exactly as you are
exactly as i am

wearing my past 
hurts

it just hurts
i hurt

all i want 
to be.

 
accept this 
whole big stupid
temporary
fleeting
existence
as it 
is.

maybe i need to lead

by example 

i do have some

revelations come 

a hint of light

hazy in the distant dark

realizing your eyes are adjusting

given enough time

suddenly in the stillness

a great clanging alarm

there is never enough time

a universe moving within

a swirling forever of 

how to live one life

inside and out

panic arising and 

then we paste over and 

distraction acknowledges 

you are distracted from some thing

sometimes running in place and 

heart thumping

why don’t these legs work

(they do)

what then

where’s the fault in the

we each a system

an automaton hiding the millions 

of little selves 

fight for supremacy

a zero sum game

no matter which lasts 

longest

still isn’t forever

isn’t forever still(?)

have seen a better version

to push and pull in the same direction

no more Cheshire smiles

frown and cry and yell and laugh

each in turn

as they arise

and arms wide

accept it all.

stop aiming

anything other than itself 

is not itself.