no matter what else

I do
going far or near
in silence or wind roaring
down the road
I return
to you

I hope to share the world.

With you.

Live in my heart
a wellspring fed by unknowable source
so deep it runs in the longest drought
it overruns too
(and that's hard to handle, I know)

damnit; I miss you so much.

just needing to say it
because I can't say it
because if giving in to the instinct
to hold on so tight
I may suffocate
the hope of
a future still
unwritten

it's screaming in me
the moment I fall
and rise the next
there you are

I am in love.

absolutely.

irreconcilably.

have been.

for now 9

years.

lean into it

Entering a new phase

unlike the last time

In my youth, when

passing from loss to acceptance

to

I’m better off

Because this isn’t that.

This is enduring-

And here 

I lean in

To the truth

Of my love

For you.

And believing, yes, still

as weary as any my age

Not cynical

But knowing

I believe

in the power

of truth

& of love

& that each

Are worth defending.

And if they were false

as any falsity, would become

Exposed

and fade in the light of

Truth

But this doesn’t fade.

I am alive in this truth.

& I lean into the

eyes closed

feeling and seeing through lids held tight

It is so bright.

Even as cold air and snow crunches under foot

Even as tulips break through the surface

Sacrificing themselves to the deep freeze-

They tell us:

It’s only for a while

We will bloom

As the warmth

Wins out