between here and there

peak summer swelter
and finally it returns
the rising before the sun and 
doing nothing else, can do nothing else
I write 
about you as always
except you always changes through
the years have left me 
advancing on some fronts and retreating on others
wondering where the border between
you & i; Us
and then, there's them
on the outside (or at least, the other side)
imagining only what they think
it must be true
a coward, heartless, cold
shoulders and backs turning
toward the end
but it didn't have to be this way

Overwhelming loss feeling your

Absent minded day to day and 

Never realizing the damage

We’re too old for this shit

Why can’t we find

That shared path is out there

In the gloom and shrouded from

Unseeing, unwanting eyes and hearts

You know the way as much as I 

Do you want it

Because my life is yours if

Just see my pain and 

We’re all a part of it in 

The other reels at our clumsy

Loving you is still easy

Naturally fitting together 

Funny how the frames almost

Nesting dolls of the persons

Who were we when we were

Together only a past tense 

I hope not,

But why

What impossible truth do I see in

Your heart so strong

But tender too are those nights

From memory and a peace 

Only possible in the warmth of 

Loving our nest 

No matter the storm outside 

Eventually we had to leave it

And lost ourselves and became ourselves

A part of the storm

Tossed and shaken

Reaching out for the other 

Furious or heartbroken 

The hand outstretched through the tumult

Offering safety and love and security

While the other tallies the wrongs

Balancing the ledger so that each time 

Holding only cost more