two days

the sadness of another
isolated grey morning dawning
realization that today is no
further down the road than 
yesterday i was one day younger
versions of myself never imagined
being where i am today; 

I really do love you

are probably better cutting ties

with the creature behind the keyboard

helps keep a distance between whatever

self-ish or self-less

it doesn't matter 

both see the world from a 

I can only imagine the tenuous

feeling shaky and when's the 

penny dropped for me

flashing on the screen

"I love you"

there was no fury

there was resolve

i am not going to let this end

all things do

as they, and we

and the trees and the sky 

and the birds in it

impermanent

it's just a matter of perspective

I have just that

it's not just imagining

I know exactly how it feels to hold a thing

together we 

holding on, battling on

hope against the hopeless

can you surrender to 

i dreamt the most horrible 

i'm so sorry

not for loving you 

will remain with me forever

arrives whether we want it to or not

i fear death as much as 

anyone still wanting

to lead a particular 

this life has not been bad

i've been lucky

I've known beauty.

and whatever is the absence

i've felt

it arises in me without warning and 

like a spooked animal

the instinct is to run

away from the dark feelings

won't go away

but, they don't need to

welcome them, accept them

remove their power stares directly

the sun in my  

eyes closed and seeing the

opaque reminder that within

still beating, this heart

through feast and fallow

storm and calm

an anxious ceasefire in the small hours

slip through, pass by and 

gone forever

I don't want to be another ghost

nor to know another

life will always be with me

as i hope you will be

in perfect balance we teeter on this 

crest of the western mountain 

views into an ocean of clouds

hard to tell the haze from the shimmer

sea holds me mute

a pebble within

and as distant as any other

sharing an origin

the pebble, I, and the ocean

a recognition of the truth

of any life 

even where there is no life

in those trees though

they fucking breathe and fill

my deepest emptiness with

something never quite put to words

miss the point

I'm trying to say 

in the deepest forest of my 

memories are lies, unintentional

avoid the details

remember how to feel

feel to know which point on the map 

drawn from memory and ignoring the side roads 

backtracking from the rim of this 

canyons are earth in relief

the memory of this planet's past

lives are the same

i have changed

the course you choose

to ignore or reckon with

the reality is that

this is what I believe

in yourself accept the 

worse in every way, I'm

not quite free falling

not too late to self-arrest before

the great yawning ocean of air

i'm sliding toward oblivion

out of control 

the more i wait

the less likely

dig in and do something

ring the bell and 

make the earth sing

a resonance that carries on

long after the friction is applied

this life echoes

put it up to your ear and 

you can hear your past

selves screaming your name

move man, time is running 

out the door and into tomorrow

you never know until 

you try.