8.21.2022

it always matters

what am i supposed to do
nothing will happen unless
what if
maybe
could be
i’m not sure
signs are all around
not even signs, but glaring
directly, openly 
and yet, and yet
your tears well up, you balk
why is that
what truth are you seeking
what don’t you already know

maybe the unknowing is any future
course charted easy to see on this
heading in a different direction 
you’re choosing to fly into the cloud
which way is up, how close are the mountains

i had the worst dream last night
terror and pleading to please don’t
be responsible and accept 
that whatever happens next
on the page, you’re the one with the pen
ink to paper and suddenly
as if we’re all a little magic
idea becomes reality

it has been a hazy dreaming maybe 
half and half living
half measures eventually give way
through the valley the water must rush
gravity’s invisible hand, relentless and 
inescapable the ending of 
all stories like ours 
is the same as any before or yet
&yet &yet
there’s a light of hoping against
the deluge may be diverted
it doesn’t have to turn out 
the same essential life
forcing through the years
forging a path uncut
purposely going left when all else is right

in these lives
we are representative of 
the species has a knack for stacking the deck
against myself the odds aren’t
hope is greater than despair
nothing is ever that 
the world won’t end
until we end
and by then
it won’t matter.



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